Young and Old @ Heart

Greetings –
Two questions & answers today since you’ve all been so patient, but before I get to those I want to remind folks that this isn’t a “review” website. While I appreciate the links to your myspace band pages and assorted websites… and I’ve heard some great stuff (and some not so great, in my humble opinion) I’m not about to start plugging bands or reviewing records/songs on this particular website. That isn’t what Ask A Punk is about.

THIS is what AAP is about:

Dear Ask A Punk:
What do any of these questions have to do with Punk or being punk? I'm 24 years old, I play in two or three different bands and I live as cheap as possible, and I work a couple of jobs but if any of them gets in the way, I quit and get another one. I live in a decent enough city and I see every show I can and "support my scene". All I care about is music -either making it or watching it- and anyone who doesn't get that, doesn't get me. I play fast and loud and I drink beer and I'm all DIY and I'll be famous for that. And the whole point of DIY is doing it yourself and not asking some guy online to tell you what to do. The only punk rock advice I've seen you give was to that chick in the small town about starting her own scene. That was good, but all those other people? If I have a question for you, I guess it is: Why answer questions that have nothing to do with punk if thats what you're supposed to be doing? - Boz

Dear Boz -
The easy answer is: I can't control who reads my blog or who writes in... I can only answer the questions that arrive in my inbox, and those people deserve an answer as much as you do. I'll admit I am sometimes surprised that a number of the questions have come from people who are a little older and have questions that reflect their more, dare we say it? "Grown-up" concerns. That doesn't make them any less 'punk' if it is still in their hearts and I think it is OK for DIY souls to ask for outside opinions or advice because in the end they still have to make up their own minds and then either do something or not do it. We're all responsible for our own destiny, but only a fool (or a 24 year old) thinks they have all the answers all the time.

...and there are many punk folk, both old-school and new-school, who would say that your urge to get "famous" isn't Punk AT ALL. Sure many of them are lying to themselves, but many aren't. Back in the dark ages, I know we picked up guitars because we felt under-represented and "on the outside” of basically everything. We decided that if we were going to be forever outside we could at least make a racket and howl about it. I might have been a delusional 24 year-old with a half-assed understanding of how to play a guitar, but I never, ever, really thought I would get famous or become a 'Rock Star' (outside of my small scene of like-minded people anyway) because it just wasn't possible... at least back then it wasn't. Now of course, "Punk" is mainstream and a part of the culture-at-large just like Rap/Hip-Hop or Country/Western. Punk music sells Volvos and Chocolate chip cookies... There is money to be made and fame to be procured. A brave new world! It is weird because in some ways it feels like a victory, but in other ways it feels like a defeat…

As always I want to avoid turning this blog into a forum on what IS punk and what ISN'T... I'll just say it is different now, and I think that most 13 year olds today expect to get something different out of punk than we did. That's just the way it is, but hopefully sometimes the real spirit gets through, some good music still gets made and some serious howling still occurs.

...and I'm not slagging you. I wish I still had the single-mindedness that I manifested as a young punk (see the photo at right) although I had many distractions and made plenty of mistakes, I had a sort of mental certainty back then that I miss now. If I could describe it I would say: "Perhaps in error...but never in doubt !!" It was easier to live in the present delirious moment when you thought you had an endless supply of them ahead of you. Enjoy these days and nights as the gift they are. You're lucky to be making music and immersed in a 'scene' that is vibrant and exciting. Maybe you'll get "famous" and maybe you won't, but either way, you'll look back on this period as a personal 'Golden Age' and in 2020 (assuming we're all still here) you'll be explaining to some 24 year-old how different your life is now, and how many other concerns you have that you didn't "back then." as I said.. enjoy it while it lasts.

...and right on cue... another grown-up with angst....


Dear AAP-
A few nights ago I found myself laying in bed wide-awake, trying to calculate how much everything I own weighs, not individually, but all together as in how much "stuff" have I accumulated,? and how impossible would it be to carry it all on my back? I guess like a lot of people when they hit their mid-thirties I get the feeling that all of my possessions are more of a hindrance than a help and they're not necessarily making me any happier. I also think about all the money I have spent on these things and how it could have been better spent, or saved and invested, don't get me wrong, I'm glad I know how to play instruments and I'm glad I played in bands, although I wish I hadn't been so dumb back then to think I could "really make it" but I'm not sure I ever needed the drum kits (plural) and eleven guitars and three, no four, keyboards and all the accessories that go with all of them, and even the PA system and everything else that now fill my basement. It's not just that stuff, it is the rest of the house too, bookcases, plates we never use, appliances in the cupboard that we've never used nor will we. books, records, CDs, computer equipment and even dumb stuff that just sits on shelves or hangs on walls. My wife is great, she's not one of those crazy people who things "shopping" is some sort of sport, so I'm not blaming her, I think we're equally guilty of all of this. Obviously we don't have kids yet, if we did this problem would probably be 10 times worse, judging by what has happened to my friends. I know I've got it good. I'm not overly worried about "money problems." We both have good jobs (although my wife probably enjoys hers more than I enjoy mine) and expenses are low(ish) and the economy is good (at this point I should mention we're Canadians.) In general life is good and I feel lucky, but it just seems like pressure of some kind is building, and the fact that I can't even figure out where it is coming from just makes me more anxious. What can I do about this? - Hey! Ho! Toronto!

Dear HHT-
Think about this... could it be the anxiety you're feeling is being triggered by some sort of guilt? It sounds like you've got your life pretty well dialed-in and you say things like "life is good" and "I feel lucky." Maybe you're looking around, and even in lovely Toronto you see a lot of people who are having a tough time of it... or perhaps you're hearing a lot of bad news from South of your border and around the world... I know these are dicey days indeed for a lot of folks down here in the US (myself included.) I'm just saying consider it.

Otherwise, it could be standard middle-aged angst/regret. All that stuff you've accumulated also represents a past that is gone gone gone... I'm speaking specifically about all that musical equipment in the basement. If you're sure you're never going to be in a band again, I suggest you purge 90% of that stuff ASAP. Keep a favorite guitar or two and a keyboard... These are useful things to keep around the house. It is always a comfort to know there is a guitar somewhere within arm's reach should you be struck by the urge to hit a fat D-chord... but the rest of it can GO. You could sell it of course - There are always youngsters looking for equipment to make their band-dreams come true... or you could donate it to a charitable organization (I know zero about the Canadian tax system... Can you deduct charitable donations?) ...I'll again plug a place I've donated to in the past: The Rock & Roll Camp for Girls in Portland Oregon.... although you could probably find some similar program/organization in your area.

..Hey! Wait a second! I just had an idea... If there ISN'T such a "rock and roll camp"-type program in the greater Toronto area, why don't YOU CREATE ONE?! ...Think about it - You've got all that equipment, you don't have kids (yet), you've got band experience and you're not exactly dedicating your heart/soul to your day job.... Even if you're not going to chase your punk rock & roll dreams anymore YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO CONTRIBUTE... and helping a kid hit his/her first fat D-chord would certainly evaporate a whole bunch of that guilt/anxiety/angst you've been feeling. I guarantee it.