Blast from the Pissed.

Even in these unsettled times, some peoples' anger has nothing to do with the economy.

Dear Ask A Punk - I'm 23. I have a big problem with anger. I pick fights with everyone, usually just yelling but not always. It gets me thrown out of every band I've ever been in and it causes me a lot of trouble with my family who aren't like me. I don't come from a whole family of screamers. Its like I'm the only one. I have given up on dating. I scare away decent guys and even the badboys are freaked out by me. Where does this come from? How can I get rid of it? - She-Devil

Dear S-D -
Your seething anger could come from any number of things including (but not limited to) the following:

>> Chemical Imbalance
>> Traumatic Head Injury
>> Nutritional Allergies / Imbalances
>> Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
>> Drug abuse / misuse
>> A history of abuse (physical, verbal, mental or sexual)
>> A Voo-Doo curse
>> ....or some combination of all of the above.

Since your email didn't come from the Caribbean region we can pretty safely rule out Voo-Doo Curse but any of the others are possible, perhaps even likely. I hate to play the usual cop out of "You didn't give me enough information" ...but you really didn't. My first impulse is to ask a bunch of questions. Maybe they are questions your haven't even asked yourself. Here goes:

Are we talking about physical outbursts? ...are you swinging on people or maybe punching walls?

Have you always been this way? Were rage & anger your two favorite childhood playmates? ...or can you think of a specific time when you just started being pissed off at everything?

Can you clearly remember specific examples of your angry outbursts and pinpoint exactly what, in your mind anyway, caused your anger?

Do you really feel that, once you're angry, you're no longer in control of yourself and your reactions? ...does it become some kind of "blind rage?"

Think back to those moments juuuuust before you lose your temper. Do you feel or experience any shifts in your basic perceptions? ...do you hear any sorts of sounds or buzzing? ...does your vision get blurry? ...do you hear voices?

Think about all those things and also continue looking at the consequences of your outbursts. The good news is that you seem to realize that the problem is internal in nature... The rest of the world isn't really responsible for how you react to it... YOU are. The world is just the world. It is going to happen all around you no matter what your reaction to it, or perception of it is... so you've got to adjust. You're at the point now where you know that the way you're interacting with the world is NOT solving any of your problems and is keeping you from getting the things you want. I get the feeling you know all this already. Which is good.

Start by creating some sort of calm dialogue with your family. Find the family member(s) who are least likely to set you off and let them know (directly) that you DO recognize you have a problem and that you're now trying to deal with it. If actual interaction is too dangerous, put it in writing and email it to them. Do whatever you can when you're in a calm state to repair the bridges you've been burning when angry, but keep in mind that at this point, saying things like "It'll never happen again" would be setting yourself up for failure and further frustration.

Then you have to be proactive. Do you have health insurance? I'm not kidding. Especially if this unchecked rage is a new feature of your personality, you might want to start with a brain scan and some blood work. Think of it as a checklist of possible causes. You want to check off the possible physical causes first and then dive into the more psychological possibilities.

You've got to get a handle on this because sooner or later you're going to have to deal with some serious blowback. You'll either hurt someone or you'll pick the wrong person to flip out on, and they'll kick your ass. Either way, you'll lose.

Sure, it is true that "anger is an energy" and all that... and there is plenty going on in this weird world to be angry about... but if you're angry, really really angry at EVERYthing well, that is a whole different matter, and something that needs to be addressed.