What time you got?

Greetings all. In spite of the "Survivor's Guilt" that people with jobs are experiencing these days, the same old questions and inner turmoils remain...

Dear Ask A Punk-
I'm 38 and unlike a lot of people these days, I have a job. It isn't a great job and it isn't horrible either. It is "just" a job. With my particular skills, I'm pretty sure I could find another similar one without a lot of trouble. I'm not bragging or anything, I just have some specialized know-how let's say, and I guess it is in a field that not a whole lot of people want to do anyway, so it works out. I could quit. I would like to quit. My friends say I'm just bored and need a vacation. I'll admit I am bored but not just by the job, by everything I guess at least that is what it feels like. I'm too old to start a band I know, but I miss the feeling of giving a shit about exciting things like bands. I don't know what else I would do instead exactly, but I feel like there is maybe something more to life and I think I need a change of scene. It is tough to talk about with those friends of mine because most of them are out of work and would just think I'm crazy. What is this all about? What are my options here? - Duller by the Day.

Dear DbtD:
It is nice to know that no matter how big the changes seem from generation to generation, the ol' "Mid-Life Crisis" remains alive and well in Gen X, and beyond. Oh sure the Gen Y / "Millennials" crowd tried (as usual) to jump to the front of the line with the whole "Quarter Life-Crisis" thing, but it didn't really get much traction... Why? Because when you're 25 or less, the whole existential/career/ennui thing is about wanting to get more out of your seemingly limitless days & wanting your "real life" to start ...and less to do with a real sense of those days being numbered and seeing your options / chances growing smaller with each earth orbit. Time daddy-o, it is all about time.

You're right, these days I am loathe to tell someone "sure, quit your job and light out for the territories." ... Regular AAP readers know that, like many of them, I'm currently in an extended period of under-employment too... but I will say this: the ONLY thing I miss from my previous job is the paycheck (and whatever fleeting sense of security that bought me.) but even in good economic times things change or jobs end, or the guy who hired you takes early retirement and his replacement thinks you're an idiot... stuff like that. To most people I would say - Hold on to the job for now, but actively look outward to figure out what that 'other thing' is that you want to do... Sometimes quitting the gig that has grown tiresome actually limits your escape options. This is the sort of thing that has to be determined on a case-by-case basis... and in your case it sounds like you could just file your walking papers and be no worse off for it. But should you? hmmm...

I'm hesitating because it really sounds like you have NO clue what other path you might like to follow. Maybe you're just sick of doing what you've been doing all these years. Assuming you don't have a family that (rightly) expects you to provide food & shelter, I guess you have the freedom to let the compass spin a bit.

Do you really need to quit? or do you need a really long vacation? As lazy as so many people say Americans are, we take almost no vacation time, compared to the rest of the civilized world. This has to be a major cause of employee burn-out and existential/career crisis' ...When it feels like your job is your whole freakin' life then you get reeeally nervous that you're spending that life doing the wrong sort of job. Do you have ANY interests or responsibilities outside of your current job? Family? A pet? Volunteer work? A creative art/craft you're seriously engaged in? Any of these things can have the positive effect of making your life feel more balanced, less about "my job" and more well, human. We're a communal species after all.

I've made what I think is very good use of my time while "under-employed" but I'll confess that just a few days ago I was talking about disengaging and going on extended desert camping trip... Why? I'm not even 100% sure myself... it just suddenly seemed like a very very good idea. Maybe it was/is just the delicious thought of a radical (although temporary) change from my seemingly dittoed days, a chance to regroup, recharge and rethink... or maybe it was/is just a counter-productive impulse to hide out. I still don't know which it is. I haven't aired out my tent and sleeping bag yet, but I haven't ruled anything out either.

So, your options are: Quit your job and do something else... or don't. I would say don't quit the job yet. Instead, DO shake up your life in other ways: Take that extended vacation and do something unusual - see something you've never seen. Engage your family, friends or strangers in some new and dynamic ways. Keep track of all of it in your mind and make a real effort to figure out what your brain is trying to tell you or where your heart is trying to point you. Try to gain some new insights.

...and if that doesn't work, quit the job and do something new. Life is too short.

added note: RIP Brendan Mullen