Dec 29, 2010

Resolutions and personal revolutions.

Dear AAP-
Is there any non-lame way to make a new year's resolution? or maybe make a bunch of them. I know I have to change some things around in my life and it seems like the right time to do it. I just don't want to make a big deal out of things and then not follow through. So what do I do? - Changer.

Dear Changer-
Your answer is right in your question - Don't make a big deal out of it, at least not to other people.

Seriously. It is never a bad or lame idea to want to make positive changes in your life. The lameness happens when people make big, public pronouncements about the biiiig changes that are going to occur and then, when they have setbacks (which are always bound to happen) shame and fear set in and they give up, not just on the changes they were trying to make at that time but also on the very IDEA that change is possible... It then becomes just that much harder the next time to even imagine that you can change or improve yourself or your life... and then you become stuck right where you've always been with the added benefit of also being shamed and disappointed in yourself.

...and then eventually you die. So why not make the most of the days & years between now (right now) and that fateful, eventual day? Know what I mean?

And as I said first off - If you're really into making positive changes, then just make them for yourself. Why does anyone necessarily have to know? I'm not saying you need to keep secrets, of course you can and should reach out to anyone who you think might be able to help you along your road of improvement. I'm talking about all the 'other people' who don't have to know your business and who, quite honestly, probably don't much care if you change or not. Better to say less and let your actions and improvements speak for themselves.

There is an old saying: "Well done is better than well said." Keep that in mind as you figure out what do do with yourself and for yourself in the new year.

Good luck.